


Eleanor Calder Has Many Problems: And Taylor Swift Just Happens To Be All Of Them

by wetshoes



Category: Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, F/F, I'm not sure what to say about this tbh, Lots of time skips, Time Skips, it's just meant to be cute idk man, salder - Freeform, tayleanor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 04:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2953109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wetshoes/pseuds/wetshoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleanor couldn’t quite explain how it happened, but it did. Sometimes she sits up at night, racking through her mind to try and find a reason why. She’ll sit in the centre of her bed, covers untouched though the clock kept reminding her it was well past one am, a cup of tea long gone cold in her hands as she tries to find a reason why. But it seems, no matter how hard she tries, no matter how late it gets or how cold that cup becomes: she can never quite find a reason that fits just right.</p><p>Otherwise known as that one thing where Eleanor realises she's in love with a girl who eats oranges at awkward times of the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eleanor Calder Has Many Problems: And Taylor Swift Just Happens To Be All Of Them

Eleanor Calder has many problems, and one of these problems is how Taylor Swift seems to be awake at the most unusual times.

Eleanor had no idea what possessed her to get up before dawn, let alone noon. It was the first day off she had from her far too hectic university life in the past month, and she had planned to spend it with her face in her pillow and her body covered in the warm covers until dawn had long since passed. But, as it always is, it seems her plans never really play out like she had hoped them too.

By the soft glow of her phones light and a valiant effort of squinting her eyes: Eleanor managed to read the time of four am, oh, and thirty three minutes, because that matters. Eleanor had half a mind to just close her eyes and burrow right back under her covers, to curl up in a protective ball and refuse to leave her bed until dusk – but things never do seem to play out that way. It wasn’t even five minutes later, after tossing and turning, hiding under her thick blankets until realising the air was too hot to breath under there and throwing them off of her that she realised she was far too awake to get back to sleep. So, with a huff and a very grumpy expression, she pushed herself from her bed and did her very best not to cry at how cold the wooden floorboards were against her feet.

Eleanor wasn’t positive how she managed to get into the kitchen, in fact she wasn’t even sure that she had planned to even leave her room in the first place. But none the less, her feet were already cold and she had nothing more to lose as she found herself standing with the kitchen lights on (at four am, because it’s still dark out since you know, it’s bloody four in the morning) in front of one of the open, sleek black cupboards of her little apartment, staring up at them with the kind of look on her face that make you positive she was considering murder on a mass scale and all for one reason.

She couldn’t reach the damn cereal box: again.

At this point in time Eleanor Calder was pretty sure the whole world was set out against her, or that her roommate needed to stop eating her cereal and putting it back on the top shelf to piss her off. The latter sounded more plausible, but Eleanor was honestly leaning more to the first.

So with an overly dramatic sigh - completely unnecessary for four am mind you - Eleanor stopped staring at the cereal box on the top shelf like it was trying to ruin her life and instead turned around, intent on grabbing a chair and losing all self-dignity by standing on top of that chair so she could reach the cereal she bought for herself. So she did, with her feet precariously on the somewhat steady stool she had lifted from underneath the breakfast bar and she grinned, maybe feeling rather proud of herself whenever she saw the little white and blue box in front of her as she plucked it right out of the cupboard and opened it up right there and then because really: it’s totally practical to eat cereal at four am while you stand on top of a stool that could possibly topple over any moment now.

“Isn’t that rather dangerous?”

If there was ever a time to talk to a woman standing on a stool, that time was not now. Eleanor almost jumped in shock, and perhaps she would have, had it not been for the rickety stool that wobbled underneath her as she practically jolted in shock. Grabbing onto the cupboard door in front of her, the brown haired girl managed to steady herself and the small stool she stood on before she possibly cracked her head right open after falling to the ground because of it.

“Jesus Christ, do you mind?” Eleanor hissed, her hand practically clutching onto her chest as she tried to get her heart beat to a somewhat regular rate. It’s amazing how an already grumpy nineteen year old can turn into a pissed off one as soon as some stranger decides to scare her crapless. Well, not exactly crapless per se, that would be quite awkward.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” The soft voice added, rather sheepishly mind you. Which honestly, Eleanor would have noticed has it not been for the fact she was too busy trying to breathe and praying she hadn’t spilled her cereal over the counter, again.

It took Eleanor a moment after she regained herself and realised she did not spill any of her cereal (which really was a wonderful find) to realise that she didn’t actually recognise the voice. For a moment she had the completely rational thought that it was a murderer behind her and she was more than likely going to get stabbed in the back – literally.

“Who are you and please, if you are here to kill me, at least let me eat my damn cereal first.” Around now a lot of people would be thinking Eleanor doesn’t quite have her priorities straight if you didn’t know her. As she closed the cupboard in front of her, the brown haired girl made the quick decision not to try and hop off of the chair, but instead turning around and seating herself down on the counter top, looking right at whoever it was that seems hell bent on scaring her shitless.

And, oh.

The girl standing in front of her was tall, with messy blonde hair and blue eyes that seemed far too puppy like and apologetic for this time of night (or maybe morning?). It took Eleanor a moment, or perhaps several to notice that the girl, the very tall, very blonde, and very attractive girl was wearing a very familiar red hoodie and had little kittens on her pyjama shorts. Really, she looked far too endearing for four am. Eleanor wasn’t quite sure how to describe her expect for, maybe, cute? Cute. Yeah, she was cute. Saying that even in her head felt weird, but, it was true.

“God sorry- I probably should have said that first, yeah?” The blonde girl said with something like a frustrated frown at herself, which made her look oddly more endearing if that were even possible. “I’m Taylor. I’m so sorry you’re Karlie’s roommate, right? I guess she didn’t tell you I was here…”

Eleanor wouldn’t exactly say the look she was giving the girl in front of her was suspicious, but wary and vaguely amused would suffice. “No, didn’t come up.” She said slowly, watching at the blonde girl fidgeted with her fingers with something along the lines of a sheepish smile on her lips. Truthfully, Karlie probably did try to tell her, but Eleanor had a bad habit of just turning up her music a little louder when her friend tried to talk to her as she studied for exams that made her brain turn into soup.

“Oh. Well, um… Yeah, sorry about that.”

For a moment Eleanor just stared at the girl in front of her, more than a tad bit confused. For a moment she was going to ask how she knew Karlie, considering her roommate never once spoke about knowing a very cute looking blonde but changed her mind at the last moment whenever she realised a far more pressing issue. “Why are you awake?”

“Oh, me?” Taylor said suddenly in response after a moment of silence passed between them as Eleanor wondered if she could even hear her. The blonde looked confused for a moment, as if she wasn’t the only other person in the room, therefore the only one Eleanor could possibly be talking to. The blonde girl shrugged her shoulders, long curls that stretched down her back moving along with them. “Oh, well I was just thinking.”

Eleanor didn’t bother to ask questions, after all, she was the one eating cereal at four am and she knew better than to question a cute girl with sleepy blue eyes.

 

: :

 

Eleanor Calder has many problems, and one of those problems is Taylor Swift’s obnoxious height.

“Where is it?”

As soon as the words passed Eleanor’s lips, Karlie’s neutral expression as she stared at the TV in front of her playing God knows what turned into a shit eating grin that only enraged the brown haired girl all the more. “Where’s what?” She asked, the smirk never leaving her lips though she didn’t look away from the television screen.

If Eleanor could, she would probably strangle the blonde sitting on the couch, acting as though she hadn’t a clue what on earth she was talking about. “My phone, Karlie.” She just about managed not to yell, eyes narrowed at the girl just a few feet away who still wasn’t looking at her. “Where is my damn phone.”

“I’m not sure. Can’t quite recall seeing it around lately.” Karlie said, finally looking over her shoulder to the fuming brunette that stood behind her with her arms crossed over her chest, looking anything but amused. “Then again, it seems a lot of things tend to go missing around here, don’t they? Like my shirt for a good example. Oh wait, no, you took that.”

Eleanor let out a groan of frustration at that. It was one time, the one time she took something from Karlie’s closet without permission (well, the first time that week) and it was hardly like she didn’t return it afterwards. Albeit it may have smelled like cigarette smoke and Louis’- well, just Louis in general really, but she did return it. Even though it may have taken her a few days.

“How many times do I have to apologise?” Eleanor said with a frustrated huff, looking over at her friend with the best I’m-sorry-but-I’m-cute-so-forgive-me face that she could muster, and that face is very much a thing don’t let yourself be fooled into believing it is not.

“Well, you haven’t actually apologised yet.”

Eleanor had to take a moment to tell herself to calm down a little whenever she heard the now familiar voice behind her, yelling at herself on the inside to not dare to crack even the smallest of smiles because she is meant to be angry right now – not happy. Looking over her shoulder she noticed Taylor in the kitchen, which surprised Eleanor considering she never saw her as she stormed into the room. The blonde girl was sitting on the table, kicking her long legs under herself while peeling what looked like an orange. Eleanor didn’t actually know if they had oranges in the apartment considering neither her nor Karlie are particularly fond of them.

“Exactly!” Came Karlie’s voice, pulling Eleanor back into reality with a loud groan of annoyance. So maybe it was childish, but honestly it was the best way she could express her feelings right now without strangling one of her oldest friends. And really, killing someone in front of their rather cute friend probably isn’t the wisest thing in the world.

“If I apologise will you give me back my phone?” Eleanor asked, somewhat reluctantly with a small pout threatening to form on her lips as she already feels like giving up and down right begging for it. Though she couldn’t do that, oh no she couldn’t, not when a very tall, very blonde girl is sitting on her kitchen table eating a damn orange at two in the afternoon.

God, even that was adorable despite the fact she hadn’t a clue where the orange came from.

“Eh, wouldn’t hurt to try.” Karlie said with a shrug, looking over her shoulder to Eleanor who just stood there huffing because of course, she was going to have to grovel if she wanted back her phone in time to see if Louis replied about heading out for coffee or not.

“I’m sorry I took your shirt.” Eleanor did say she was sorry. Though she just didn’t happen to say it very loudly is all.

“What was that? I can’t quite hear you over your pride.” Karlie commented drily, making Eleanor all too aware of the fact she wanted her to grovel. This was their friendship, it was based off of light humiliation and the kind of affection where you want to punch each other in the face half the time; they’ve been trying to work on that since they moved in together. It’s been nearly a year: they’re still working on it.

“I’m very sorry I took your oh so wonderful plaid shirt that is obviously more important to you than I am and returned it smelling like stale smoke and boy.” Eleanor droned, maybe a tad louder than completely necessary as she held back the urge to throw the lamp that was oh so close at the dirty blondes head. The urge was near enough gone when she heard the giggle behind her as she reached the end of her words, once again trying to remind herself not to smile, a task that was proving rather difficult around now because of that damn giggle. “Now can I have my phone?”

Karlie just sat there on the old leather couch they found together before moving in, it was probably older than the pair of them but that’s hardly the point. She had this look on her face, lips pursed as she narrowed her eyes to the brunette who stood as patiently as she could, waiting for her friend to just tell her where her damn phone was already. “Fine.” Karlie said suddenly, turning back to the TV screen as Eleanor let out a sigh of happy kind of relief and almost smiled – only to scowl. “It’s on the top shelf with your cereal.”

“Screw you.” Eleanor muttered as she turned back to face the small kitchenette, walking on over to the very cupboard she knew her friend was talking about, right in the corner of the room where she couldn’t get up on the counter, or even sit on it considering their oven sat there instead. It was times like these Eleanor wanted to commit murder on a mass scale.

Eleanor knew her friend was looking at her, watching her with that same shit eating grin she always has whenever she makes a play on Eleanor’s height like this. It’s not that Eleanor’s small, she just happens to live with a girl who’s six foot and really likes wearing the highest heels imaginable. But Eleanor was stubborn, so stubborn that she was not going to give her friend the satisfaction of having to go and get a chair to stand on. So instead she opened the cupboard and tried her very best to go on the tips of her toes because she could totally reach up to the top shelf and grab her phone – if she was another four inches taller that is.

“You two are so immature sometimes.” Eleanor could hear Taylor say behind her with that little giggle that never stops sounding perfect, and Eleanor couldn’t really understand why such a silly little comment got her blushing as she hopped up, trying her hardest to knock down the phone from where it was at the edge of the shelf. Eleanor was determined; she knew she could do this, she knew it.

Okay, so she couldn’t. But God knows she was not going to go grab a chair in front of Taylor, and she wasn’t even sure why that was a reason not to.

Truth be told, Eleanor was expecting this to go on for the next five minutes. Taylor mumbling about how dumb they were while Karlie cackles evilly over on the sofa. And maybe if Karlie hadn’t been laughing so hard at the blushing girl, jumping like a hyper terrier to try and get her phone, she would have heard the footsteps.

With a sigh Eleanor planted her feet firmly on the ground, her hands gripping on the edge of the counter and oven as she was just about to try and push herself up again, and she would have, if it hadn’t been for the hand that came to be on her arm.

“I’ll get it.”

Eleanor never really understood why she blushed so easily, but she knew around now that she hated herself for it. The fingers that so gently curled around her wrist felt like they were burning into her skin, but she couldn’t find herself minding it at all. For around five seconds, Eleanor found herself way too caught up in the fact this felt like a moment from a dumb chick flick. With Taylors hand gently resting on her while she leaned up to get something the brown haired girl couldn’t quite reach, the first thing that came into her mind was God, she smelled weirdly good.

Before she knew it the hand around her wrist was gone and her phone was in front of her eyes and she could practically feel Taylor’s carefree, helpful smile on the back of her head even though she couldn’t see it.

“Oh, uh-.” Eleanor managed to murmur as she gingerly took the white phone from the other girls hand with a sheepish kind of smile, praying to god her blush had died down as she turned around to face her, looking down at her hand before she could say anything more as she felt the vibration of a message as it popped up, showing her just enough to get her kicked back into reality.

“You’re really tall.” Eleanor said in some kind of rush as she quickly looked down at her hands at the realisation that, oh God, she really just said that and she probably looks something like a tomato right now. “I- I mean thanks- yeah-. Thank you.”

With that Eleanor somehow managed to push herself away from the counter, squeezing past Taylor as she made her way as quick as she could to the door, not even looking back even though she felt curious eyes on her the whole time as she grabbed her jacket and keys, a goodbye barely even past her lips as the door shut behind her. She didn’t know why she practically ran out of her own apartment, but she realised that now really wasn’t the time to question it, or why her skin felt strangely cold with the absence of the long fingers that curled around her wrist moments before.

The whole time as she walked to the little Starbucks down the street, she couldn’t quite help, but maybe like how obnoxiously tall Taylor Swift really was after all.

 

: :

 

Eleanor Calder has many problems, and one of these problems is the somewhat obvious fixation she has with Taylor Swift’s legs.

Eleanor has never quite been able to rid herself of the very bad habit she has of staring. She gained it whenever she was young, always interested in anything with wide brown eyes greedily taking in the world and staring, and staring until something she can’t quite get clicks. It’s terribly rude, it’s terribly awkward and it’s terribly problematic for more reasons that one.

“If it’s possible, I think these jeans actually make me look short.”

Eleanor was leaning back on one of the solid red arm chairs that littered the changing rooms, bags around her feet which where tucked underneath her as she watched, more than obviously bored at her friends words. “Karlie,” she began dryly, looking at her friend with an eyebrow raised as if just to further the point of her disbelief. “You’re fucking six foot and wearing heels, I don’t think anything can make you look short.”

Her friend only rolled her eyes where she stood, standing in front of the mirror that took up the whole wall in front of them. The little armchair Eleanor was resting in sat between two changing rooms, as did the other nine that lined the long room. Karlie was wearing a pair of jeans that honestly, Eleanor couldn’t tell the difference from the ones she was wearing whenever they actually got there. But as Karlie would point out if she dared ask, they are oh so different, even if they don’t look like it to her.

“Well I feel short.” Karlie said with a huff after turning sideways to undoubtedly check out her own ass in the mirror as she pursed her lips. Even if Eleanor hadn’t known Karlie since they were twelve, she would still be able to tell that was her thinking face. And all she could be thinking about, was whether her ass looked flat. Which it did.

“You look tall, like always.” Eleanor replied as she held back the groan that she was just oh so tempted to release because even if they love each other, it doesn’t mean Eleanor doesn’t want to kill her friend sometimes. “And yes,” she added before her friends parted lips could dare utter the question she was about to ask “your ass does look flat.”

At her friends frustrated groan, or maybe a whine – she’s not too sure which – Eleanor couldn’t help herself from smiling at her friend in a teasing fashion, glad that she wasn’t trying things on as well because truthfully, she knows she’d be just as bad. Not to mention Karlie is relentless, because if something doesn’t suit you in her mind, there is no way in hell you’re ever getting it out of the dressing rooms with you, much less the store.

“I do not think I should ever wear shorts, like ever.”

It took Eleanor a moment to realise who was speaking, considering even though she was situated between her friends stalls she didn’t even hear the one to her left open, much less did she see the blonde girl actually walk out of it. If Eleanor had been speaking, she was pretty sure she quickly would have forgotten how to whenever she turned to look at the girl beside her, she was going to tell her how that can’t be true but – she forgot how to talk for a moment as insane as it sounds.

Because, wow.

Eleanor knew Taylor had nice legs was the thing. After all, she’s spent the past year now getting to know those legs and their owner very well due to the fact they never leave her apartment. It wasn’t like she thought Taylor’s legs weren’t nice, or that they were just legs because – God, it’s not normal to actually believe that legs can make someone as flustered as they seem to make Eleanor right about now. Normally, for anyone anywhere near ordinary, they would probably just want her legs, not have the somewhat creepy and very strange urge to reach out and touch Taylors. It wasn’t even because they were smooth per se, it was just the fact they were there, and you know her hands were there and it’s not like there was a big distance between them and they just looked so damn gorgeous and touchable.

“Right El?”

Eleanor was shaken from her thoughts, more so mental images if anything since she couldn’t even formulate words in her head this point that don’t consist of, touch, touch, soft, please or can I touch them. Eleanor was suddenly aware of the fact Karlie was watching her, eyebrow raised in that damn knowing way while Taylor was looking at her as if she was a puppy that was dyed green – cute but weird, if that even makes any sense. Nothing is really making sense to Eleanor right now, maybe it’s just her.

“Um- uh, yeah? Yeah right, course.” Eleanor said, or maybe muttered as she shook her head slightly to herself as if that could rid the thoughts that kept pushing themselves into her head that she can’t quite find the courage to question.

Karlie had this smirk on her lips, and try as she might Eleanor can’t seem to get it out of her head as she looked down at her lap to avoid staring again. She was cursing at herself for it because God, she must seem like such a weirdo for that. Not that she has ever been normal, but really? Staring at one of your best friend like you would like to do something creepy like lick them and- okay, those thoughts can turn sexual if she isn’t careful. So instead of thinking, she just pulled out her phone and tried to distract herself and stare at her screen instead of people and their legs.

Well, instead of Taylor and her legs.

“Well, we know El likes them at least!” Karlie exclaimed, as if it was the greatest thing in the world. Eleanor had half a mind to groan, or tell her to shut up, but she was too busy staring down at the phone on her lap like it was the most interesting this as she prayed to God Taylor didn’t look her way. And the worst thing about that, was the fact she didn’t know why it bothered her.

“Do you think I should get them?”

After a brief moment of silence, Eleanor realised that it was actually her that was being asked the question this time. Looking up from her lap, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, but only to end up with a smile instead. Taylor looked like she genuinely cared to know, she was wringing her fingers like she does whenever she’s nervous and Eleanor couldn’t wrap her mind around why she would be as she just nodded her head, a small smile still on her lips as she looked at the blonde who’s big blue eyes were swimming with something that looked almost like worry. “Yeah.” She said softly before shaking my head a little, clearing her throat as if she didn’t mean the softness of her words before with a firm nod of her head as she did her best not to notice Karlie’s all too knowing eyes on the pair of them. “You look, amazing Tay, really. You always do.”

But that doesn’t mean Eleanor wasn’t at least a little happy whenever at the checkout she saw the same shorts passed to the girl at the till. (Truthfully, she was very happy indeed.)

 

: :

 

Eleanor Calder has many problems, and one of these problems is how Taylor Swift doesn’t take no for an answer.

“Taylor, seriously. I’m fine.”

Eleanor wasn’t sure if what she was saying could be classified as a lie. Sure, she had locked herself in her bedroom and there were tissues everywhere since her trash can was over flowing, not to mention the fact her head was pounding to the point she was pretty sure she was going to throw up because she kept seeing spots. Hence why she was currently situated by the toilet of the bathroom that was oh so happily attached to her room, her head against the wall while her knees to her chest and her phone on the floor beside her, loud speaker high enough to hurt her head if she wasn’t careful. So maybe she wasn’t okay, but it wasn’t like she was dying either. So in her mind, that classified her as doing fine.

“Ellie, you sound like death and Karlie says you haven’t left your room in two days.”

Eleanor wanted to roll her eyes at Taylor’s soft tone, she could see her in her head as she spoke. Probably sitting in her room, biting her lip with her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she over analyses everything she’s saying on the other line. Taylor is a worrier, hence why Eleanor never planned on telling her she felt like death until she felt better – or never, since that would have been the best option. But she couldn’t roll her eyes at her friends worrying, in fact, she could only smile because she felt like shit but Taylor somehow made it feel better just by calling.

“I’m coming over.”

Eleanor groaned at that. Even though she knew her friend couldn’t see her on the other end of the line, she gestured weakly as she spoke, waving her hand at the phone as if to tell her to go away and stop worrying. “I’m fine, I’ll live. I can’t promise you will if you step foot in this house though. Take my advice and pull a Karlie, stay the fuck away while you can still eat without throwing it back up.”

“Karlie left you?” Taylor practically shrieked down the line, causing Eleanor to groan – yet again - as she felt like she just got hit in the head with a sledgehammer and remembered just then why she didn’t believe in using loud speaker when talking to Taylor.

“Don’t yell at me.” She groaned, pressing the heels of her palms to her eyes as if they could ride the marks that danced evilly in her eyes and make her head stop feeling like the inside of a blender.

“Oh yeah- sorry!” Taylor said on the other line, only vaguely quieter before whispering instead, which Eleanor could just about catch from where she sat at the other side of the floor from her phone and the sound of rustling came from Taylor’s side. “Sorry, sorry. Look, I’m coming around whether you like it or not, okay? You’re sick and you shouldn’t be alone when you’re sick because that’s just not fair, and you can’t take care of yourself on a good day much less when you can’t do anything without throwing up, okay? Okay. Good, I’ll be around in twenty. Don’t like- don’t die, okay?”

Eleanor couldn’t fight, and she couldn’t even tease Taylor on her excessive use of the word okay. She knew that by the time she was half way through her little rant, her words piling up on one another that she was already half way out the door. In fact, she knew well enough from the soft huff that came from the other side of the line, and the click at the end that she was already out the door. Eleanor could never keep Taylor from doing what she wants, even when she wants to. Besides, she doesn’t have enough energy to fight considering she didn’t even have enough energy to go get the door whenever Taylor knocked on it ten minutes later.

It was never a surprise that Taylor got her way. No matter how hard Eleanor ever fought, no matter how hard anyone ever fought: Taylor would always get her way.

So that was how Eleanor ended up with her head on the lap of the most beautiful girl she’s ever met, so sick that she’s afraid to look in the mirror encase she passes out from how horrible she looks and watching probably the shittiest films that could ever come into existence. The thing was, Eleanor couldn’t really find anything wrong with that moment. She hadn’t thrown up in the past hour, she could probably stand up (God knows she doesn’t want to get up from the position she’s in to try and test that theory though) and she even felt a little better really. But maybe that was just because instead of curling up on the cold bathroom floor she had Taylor playing with her hair, the blankets pulled up to her chest and a cup of tea resting on the coffee table.

In a way, she hates that Taylor always gets her way. But whenever the blond girl leaned down, pressing her lips gently to her temple, really, Eleanor couldn’t help but love the fact nothing can change her mind.

 

: :

 

Eleanor Calder has many problems, and one of these problems is the fact her best friend just happens to be the most beautiful person she has ever met.

Eleanor started considering Taylor her best friend around the time she realised that Taylor liked coffee and tea in bed just as much as she did. It was a silly thing, but it was a silly thing that started their friendship. Not the kind-of-friends, kind-of-not-friends thing they had going on because technically they were Karlie’s friends, but they weren’t each other’s friends. If that made any sense. But either way, that day, over two years ago was the day they became best friends.

After a while, it started to become normal for the pair of them to go out and buy coffee or tea at obscure times, maybe even make it themselves if they can really be bothered only to end up drinking it together in bed. And this time, well, it was a little different.

“Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor.” Eleanor chirped from where she sat, cross legged in the centre of her bed. Her door was open just wide enough so, from where she sat she could see the blonde head of her best friend hopping about the kitchen, more than likely making tea, maybe coffee; but Eleanor doesn’t care, all she cares about is the fact she’s cold and Taylor isn’t there to cuddle her.

“El, calm down.” She could hear what Taylor was saying, really she could but that really isn’t the point because it doesn’t make Eleanor less cold or any less whiny.

“But Taylor,” she whined, flopping back on her bed as if in defeat, setting the pillow over her face because really, she doesn’t know what else to do. She’s giggly, and she’s happy and she really just wants to hug Taylor forever and tell her that she’s pretty. Because Taylor is really pretty, like Taylor is the prettiest girl she’s ever met and Eleanor knows that, even if she is a little bit drunk, or a lot a bit drunk she knows that Taylor is really, really pretty.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Whenever Eleanor heard her words, it was hardly a surprise that the pillow that once covered her face was practically tossed across the room as she pushed herself back up, smiling maybe a bit too wide but she was too happy to care really, because Taylor was really pretty, and damn did that make her feel happy. And there she was, speak of the devil, Taylor was walking into Eleanor’s room with two cups of what looked like tea in her hands which she set on the old chest of draws before sitting down on the edge of the bed which creaked softly at the added weight of another person. She had this smile on her face that made Eleanor swear that butterflies were able to live inside her, that or she was filled with helium because God knows she felt like she was going to float.

“Taylor.” Eleanor sighed happily, her arms already around the blonde’s waist as she nuzzled her nose against her shoulder like some unbearably cuddly kitten of some kind. The thought alone made Eleanor want to laugh, then again, about now anything will make her laugh. She’s just on that tip of being drunk, that lovely buzz that makes her feel warm on the inside and makes her feel like anything is possible if she tries.

“Ellie.” Taylor teased, but leaning back just enough for Eleanor to know that she doesn’t mind. Eleanor smiled, setting her chin on her friends shoulder with a smile on her face that just won’t seem to go away as she nudged her nose against her best friend’s cheek because that’s obviously what all friends do.

Or at least, it’s what she and Taylor do.

Eleanor wasn’t sure how Taylor managed to convince her to get under the covers without protesting too much on having to let go of her, because doing that for more than a second is most certainly a sin of some kind, right? But somehow she managed to, and really Eleanor is quite happy she did. Because now as they sat in the darkness, side by side, Eleanor didn’t feel half as fidgety as she would at any other given time as they sat together with mugs of tea in cold hands.

“Hey. Taylor?” Eleanor said after sometime of silence between the two girls, her head resting on the blondes shoulder as they sat together. Normally around now she would worry that she was bothering her friend, but, she couldn’t quite find it in herself to care.

“Yes, El?” Was Taylor’s reply; her voice soft and patient as it always is. Had it been any other time, Eleanor would marvel at how she always seemed to remain patient with her.

“You’re beautiful.”

Eleanor was surprised at how easy it was to say, with a happy smile on her face. Maybe it was because she still had that buzz clinging to her shoulders that made her anything but wary, but it was easy to say as she lifted the mug to her lips as if she hadn’t said anything at all.

There was a moment of silence between the pair of them, sitting side by side, hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder, pressed against one another. But still, Eleanor just drank her tea happily because she knew the turning gears in the mind of the girl beside her needed to take some time. Eleanor wasn’t sure if that happy buzz had faded away quite yet, but her head still felt in the clouds and she was smiling because things just felt right. It was a strange thing, but she didn’t question it.

“I know you probably don’t believe that, actually, I know you don’t.” Eleanor continued quietly, blowing cold air on her tea because it was still too hot, but not daring to look in the eyes of the girl beside her who still smelled like vanilla and caramel, and basically anything happy. “But it’s true. You’re beautiful, not just in the physical sense either. I mean, you’re stunning obviously. I mean that’s obvious.”

Eleanor had lifted her head from the quiet girls shoulder, turning to look at her with a small smile on her lips, shrugging her shoulders a little whenever she noticed the blonde’s expression. She couldn’t tell what Taylor was thinking by looking at her, which was strange. She looked almost disbelieving, she could tell that much. Taylor was watching her with those wary blue eyes she always has whenever Eleanor says something strange after she’s had something to drink, but there was something else that Eleanor could see by the faint strip of light that hit her friends face from the street lamp standing outside her window through the cracks in the blinds. Eleanor gave up on trying to figure out what that something was, she could be spending time telling Taylor how pretty she was instead and she would much rather do that.

“I mean have you seen you? Well you obviously have – mirrors and all, you know? Anyways, I mean you’re just all perfect and shit. Like you have the cutest nose, has anyone ever told you that? And you’re eyes are so big and blue, they’re like little puddles but not puddles since they normally have dirt and shit in them. Anyways, moving on. But yeah, like you’re just really beautiful. I mean whenever you smile it’s like everyone in the room has to bloody smile because it’s just so-.” Eleanor came to a stop with a small sigh, giggling though her smile never leaving her lips as she looked at the girl beside her with something that she could only describe as adoration with a small, shy shake of her head.

“I don’t know. You’re just really fucking beautiful.”

“Something tells me you have had a bit too much to drink tonight.” Was the only reply Eleanor got, and although her lips formed a pout, Eleanor let her friend take the mug from her hands, setting it on the night stand with the same gentle smile she always has.

“But Taylor.” Eleanor whined, she couldn’t help it, really. It’s truthfully not very fair of Taylor to go and change the topic on her when Eleanor is doing her very best to tell her something very important. It’s also very upsetting because Eleanor has yet to move onto the enthralling talk of Taylors legs which are very important to her. Very, very important.

“No buts.” Taylor said quickly before Eleanor could say another word, and even though they were in the dark Eleanor could still see the grin on her friend’s lips as she heard the clink of the second mug on the night stand. “It’s two am, go to bed.”

Eleanor huffed at the stern voice that came from the blonde, which was normally only reserved for times like these and when Karlie and she are picking on each other too much for the passive blonde’s liking. But she didn’t fight, she knew better than that even in this state. Shuffling down her bed so her face was at the pillow instead of her ass like it previously was, Eleanor was about to shut her eyes before she felt the bed shift, creaking slightly as the weight that had been resting on it was removed.

Eleanor wasn’t sure why panic seemed to be the first thing that registered in her mind whenever she realised the creak of her bed was because Taylor was getting up. She was a damn twenty one year old woman, she can sleep on her on after all. But, some kind of fear curled around her stomach and panic swam about in her mind that she never has had before. Never once when Louis left her alone in her room in the middle of the night, nor when Karlie told her to piss off because she was tired of her shit, not even whenever Louis called that morning saying they need to talk did this kind of panic grab her so tightly. But still, she found herself reaching out, fingers gently curling around her friend’s wrist as she sat up a little from where she lay.

“Wait-.” She said quickly, really before her mind could catch up. There was a pause whenever she felt Taylor’s eyes on her, more than likely confused even though she could barely see them in the dim light of the room.

“Can you, maybe… Stay?” Eleanor asked slowly, as if afraid of the answer to come. It made no sense, really it didn’t. Taylor and she always sleep in the same bed whenever she’s around, well, Karlie’s in there as well half the time but that’s not the point. At least it’s not the point because Taylor’s always in the middle, and Eleanor likes to pretend that Karlie isn’t there. But the point is, she shouldn’t be afraid of asking, so the fact she was, well, that made no sense.

There was another pause, and for a moment Eleanor half expected Taylor to just walk away. But before she could really notice she heard the creaking of the bed again, and cold air against her as the covers were lifted. “You’re lucky I love you.” She heard a soft voice mutter beside her ear as she felt Taylor settle into the bed beside her.

Eleanor was happy in that moment for how dark it was, because even though she lay on her side facing the girl right before her eyes, they could barely see each other. She was happy because she didn’t have the hide the fact her cheeks were probably a brighter red than the lipstick Taylor always wore. Instead she just let herself move her arm around the waist of the blonde girl in front of her, pulling her maybe a tad bit closer than necessary. But that’s hardly the point, after all, she’s meant to be drunk, right? So really, she can’t be held accountable for getting maybe a little too close, or anything that she says.

“I love you too, Tay.”

 

: :

 

Eleanor Calder has many problems, and the biggest of these problems is the fact that no matter how much she tries to deny it: she’s pretty sure she’s in love with her best friend.

Eleanor couldn’t quite explain how it happened, but it did. Sometimes she sits up at night, racking through her mind to try and find a reason why. She’ll sit in the centre of her bed, covers untouched though the clock kept reminding her it was well past one am, a cup of tea long gone cold in her hands as she tries to find a reason why. But it seems, no matter how hard she tries, no matter how late it gets or how cold that cup becomes: she can never quite find a reason that fits just right.

The funniest thing is, she isn’t sure when she realised it either. After all, for all she knows, it could have been since the day they first met because ever since, she can’t seem to go a day without Taylor on her mind.

“Please remind me why of all places, I managed to let you two drag me to Ireland.”

Eleanor wasn’t really paying attention to Karlie’s whining. She was too busy, once again, wondering in depth why Taylor’s tea always seems to taste better than the kind anyone else makes as she sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, practically curled up in the white – maybe grey – armchair that sat in the corner of the room. Eleanor didn’t bother answering the question from her friend who was sitting on the desk that ran along the wall of the room.

“Maybe because I got hired for the week, and you two decided to tag along because it came with a free room?” Taylor offered from where she sat on the edge of one of the two beds in the room. Eleanor didn’t even need to look at her to know that she had that same teasing smile that’s she’d had all week, ever since they finally booked their tickets and said they were going to come with her.

“Not the point. I mean, why Ireland of all places? Why not somewhere, sunnier? Like France, God I want to go to France.” Eleanor couldn’t help herself from rolling her eyes at her friend’s words as Karlie spoke. But instead of butting into the conversation Eleanor focused her attention on the droplets of water that chased one another down the window pane she looked out of.

Eleanor soon enough let her friend’s conversation slip into the background as her thoughts just grew louder once again. Somewhere at the back of her mind she was aware of Karlie’s laughing, and the fact her tea had gone cold and Taylor kindly reminding her friends that she couldn’t speak French, so going to preforming in France could be problematic. But Eleanor just let these things happen around her as she returned to wondering why her tea tasted so damn amazing, even though she was too busy staring out the window at the rainy sky to drink any of it.

She was somewhat aware of the fact Taylor’s first performance was tonight, and really, she was happy for her. Whenever they first met it wasn’t long before Eleanor realised that Taylor was this overly happy, bouncy, smiley twenty one year old with big dreams and an even bigger heart, and over the past three years, that hadn’t changed. They were all a little older, a little more mature and a little less naïve than they were before, but Taylor has barely changed; she still sits on Eleanor to wake her up after she stayed the night, she still sings at the top of her lungs with the rest of them when their favourite song plays, and no matter how many times she gets turned down, she knows one day her dreams will come true. She has the kind of hope that Eleanor never could understand, but that was one of the things that drew her to the girl and her big blue eyes, the fact she seemed to never lose hope when Eleanor could never keep hold of it.

Tonight wasn’t the first time Taylor has ever preformed in front of a crowd, but it was the first time she was playing at a hotel, and it was the first time she was booked for a week and getting paid. So whenever she told Eleanor, she knew that she had to be there with her. Because this is going to be one of the nights she’ll remember for years to come, and Eleanor knows that she’s scared and needs them there to remind her that she should probably use the amp this time, and missing a word in her own song is perfectly okay.

So it wasn’t a surprise, that from start to finish of the two hours Taylor played, Eleanor was sitting in one of the stools at the hotels bar, just close enough for Taylor to know she was there, but far enough away not to be a bother. It wasn’t long before Taylors last set would be done, and Eleanor knew that purely because she knew the girls set list off by heart from listening to her practice none stop for the past month and a half. The whole night Eleanor found herself watching the blonde sing her heart out, laugh with the crowd, tell some really shitty jokes and give the most beautiful introductions to her own music. Eleanor had this smile on her lips that she knew wouldn’t go away, even if she tried.

“So, when are you going to tell her you’re practically in love with her?”

Eleanor choked on her coke. With a cough as she tried to breath she looked to her side at Karlie who just sat there unfazed by the whole choking and possible near death experience Eleanor just found herself in because of her question.

“The hell are you on about?” She croaked, pulling a face at the scratchiness of her throat as she, far more warily this time, took a sip of her drink, acting as if her cheeks weren’t aflame and she had no idea what her friend was talking about. What a pity she did.

“I’m talking about the fact you’re staring at her like she’s the last cookie and you fucking love cookies.” Karlie said, still sipping on whatever cocktail she flirted out of the bartender this time. She had this look on her face as if Eleanor was totally overreacting to what she said. She wasn’t overreacting. She was just very surprised. And only overreacting a little, just a little.

“It’s Taylor. She’s not a cookie, Karlie.” Eleanor could only grumble in response, looking away from her friend with a small frown on her lips. Truthfully, she didn’t know what else to say.

“Fine. You’re staring at Taylor like all you want to do is fuck her-”

“Karlie!” Eleanor groaned because, really? She wouldn’t stare at Taylor like that, God. Okay maybe she thinks about it sometimes, but that’s hardly the point. It sounds bad to hear that. Even though it may be kind of true. Sometimes.

“-but you also want to do something incredibly dumb like buy her a star and have your first kiss in the rain when you drop her home. Or something equally as lovey and cringe worthy.” Karlie continued, once again, completely ignoring Eleanor until she’s finished.

Eleanor sat there in silence as she watched her friend twirling her straw in her multi-coloured drink, obviously waiting for a reply. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Eleanor settled with, shaking her head a little to her friend, doing her best to maintain eye contact and not be so obvious about her lie.

“Come on, El. I’ve known you for what, like ten years? I know how you act when you like someone.” Karlie said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She had this little smile on her lips, that for a couple of seconds got Eleanor thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to admit it.

Then she remembered they were talking about Taylor. Taylor who’s about forty feet away, with her blonde hair and blue eyes, singing her damn heart out like an angel. She decided against backing down so easily after that sudden realisation.

“Karlie, she’s Taylor.” Eleanor said, looking at her friend as if she was mad. To anyone else that would be a pretty logical excuse, one that needs to be elaborated on but logical enough. They’re best friends, you can’t like your best friend. At least, that’s what she has to keep reminding herself.

“And I’m Karlie. And you’re Eleanor.” Karlie said slowly, over exaggerating as she pointed between the pair of them before jutting her thumb in the direction of the bar tender who was standing there, cleaning a glass while watching them in amusement from where he stood about ten feet away. “And this is the bartender. His name is Daniel. What’s your point?”

“You know what I mean, Kar.” Eleanor said with a sigh, giving up on directly fighting her friend’s words as she focused on just drinking her coke instead of saying anything else. Somewhere at the back of her mind she was aware that Taylor had moved onto her last song some time ago, it was breath taking, like always.

“Nah, not really.” Karlie shrugged her shoulders as she leaned back against the thin wooden back of the stools, eyeing her friend in a way Eleanor almost thought to be cautious as she sipped on her cocktail once again.

“Karlie; it’s Taylor. It’s Taylor that used to wear shorts with cats on them and eats oranges at really awkward times of the day. It’s Taylor.” Eleanor said, emphasising Taylors name every time she said it just to get her point across. It’s Taylor, so it’s different.

“And you’re Eleanor, who used to crimp her hair and eats cereal at stupid times. It’s a match made in heaven really.”

Eleanor just sighed. It was the only reaction she could think of even though on the inside her heart was doing this weird thing that made her pretty sure it was going to leap from her chest at any moment. From behind her she could hear Taylor saying good night to the audience but she kept her eyes on Karlie, she wanted to frown, but she wanted nothing more to smile. So she just stared, trying to wrap her mind around her friend’s words and why this should even matter to her. So maybe she has a little bit of a thing for Taylor, they’re best friends, she wouldn’t want to wreck that.

“Karlie. Just drop it, okay? Tonight is Taylor’s night; let’s not complicate things.” She found herself saying, though part of her wanted nothing more but to continue with this talk. To let her annoying best friend keep pushing until she has to tell her. Because holding it back… Well, holding it back has become a lot harder all of a sudden.

“I’m not complicating anything, El. You’re the one who’s lying.”

Eleanor would have said something, or maybe she just hopped she would have. But before she got a chance she felt a pair of arms thrown around her waist, and lips pressed to her cheek as the scent of vanilla surrounded her. “I can’t believe it! I actually did it! I got through the set and I didn’t forget the lyrics and – and I didn’t even mess up the chords and oh my God- I did it!”

Eleanor couldn’t help but smile, even though her ears now vaguely hurt she found herself turning around to see Taylor smiling, flushed cheeks and bright eyes. If she hadn’t been smiling already, she would have by now. Eleanor let her hand cover the excited blondes on her waist, squeezing it lightly before gently pressing her lips to Taylors flushed red cheek. Speaking softly as she watched the girl beside her practically bounce on the balls of her feet again. “I told you that you could do it. You were amazing.”

Eleanor didn’t look away from Taylor. Maybe it was because she knew Karlie would have that knowing look on her face, and maybe it would have pity as well. But maybe it was just because given the chance to be so close, she could never seem to look away from Taylor.

So maybe she was in love with her best friend. But if keeping it to herself meant she could see her a moments like this, with a smile so wide it could hurt, and eyes so bright they looked like stars that shone in the nights sky: then maybe, just maybe, shaking her head and saying no, she was most certainly not in love with Taylor Alison Swift, maybe it’s worth it.


End file.
